⚖️How Politics Creeps Into the Dojo
What we’re really teaching & who we’re silently pushing out.
It was subtle at first.
I’d walk into the space and feel it. A kind of expectation floating in the air.
I was told (or maybe it was just understood) that if I was serious.
I’d train at least three times a week. Two-hour sessions. Minimum.
But I’m a grown adult. I have a job. A family. Commitments.
So I set a boundary: I train once a week. I made this clear.
Not as an excuse, as a choice.
And still, the pressure lingered. The sidelong glances.
The light teasing. The subtle withdrawal from group chats or planning sessions.
It wasn’t cruel. But it was there.
This was the boundary test.
And in some schools, boundaries are interpreted as disloyalty.
🥋 Politics Doesn’t Just Happen at the Top
It trickles down into how students:
Interact with each other
Interpret silence or attention
Learn which behaviors “earn favor” — and which invite punishment
One of the clearest signs of this shows up in the 3 Cs
The 3 Cs: Critical, Condemn, Complain
When someone opts out. Even just a little it disrupts the unspoken norms of many martial arts spaces.
The reaction follows a predictable pattern The 3 Cs:
1. Criticize
Boundaries are met with subtle digs or technical corrections that mask discomfort with someone stepping outside the norm.
“If you were serious, you'd train more than once a week.”
“You can’t expect to improve at that pace.”
This isn’t about form. It’s about control. The critique isn't meant to support growth.
2. Condemn
Instead of asking why someone might need space or flexibility, their character gets put on trial.
“They’re clearly just not committed.”
“Some people are always looking for an excuse.”
Boundaries are reframed as selfishness or weakness. Instead of curiosity, there’s judgment.
3. Complain
Boundaries become gossip fodder. A way to reinforce the social hierarchy and vent frustration without accountability.
“They only show up when it’s convenient.”
“Must be nice to pick and choose when you train.”
These complaints aren’t about the person. They want control over the person.
🧩 The Deeper Root: Impressing Others
The foundation of dojo politics?
The need to impress others.
And I get it.
We’re human. We crave belonging.
That pull toward external validation is real. Deep, often unconscious.
When we care more about how we’re perceived we start:
Seeking approval over mastery
Prioritizing status over substance
Conforming to fit in, rather than cultivating purpose
And this isn’t just a martial arts problem.
It shows up in schools, jobs, even families.
But in a dojo?
It cuts deeper.
Because this is the one place that’s supposed to be different.
The martial path should train character, not ego.
💡"If I’m holding breath, tension, or confusion. My body is telling me the boundary has already been crossed."
Therefore in my own training, I’ve found it freeing to focus inward.
When I shift from being seen to simply being, I feel more joy. More ease.
But The tension is still there.
It just doesn’t take up as much headspace.
It’s quieter now. Background noise.
I treat my practice like a walking meditation.
A return to self, again and again.
Because everything else — gestures broadly —
the gossip, the cliques, the power plays, the groupthink...
It all grows from this one root. The need to impress others.
🔍 Why It’s So Tempting
It’s easier to win approval than to do the inner work of self-discovery.
Social media fuels the illusion that popularity equals legitimacy.
Group belonging often demands conformity.
💥 Consequences
You perform for your senpai, not for the art.
You fear being different or asking uncomfortable questions.
You lose your individuality and with it, (your personal growth).
🧘♂️ The Remedy: Emotional Detachment
Not coldness, but clarity.
Practice being cordial without codependent.
Respect others without needing to be accepted.
Detach from the pressure to fit in & return to your original purpose for training.
True martial arts isn’t about impressing others.
It’s about impressing the part of you that seeks truth, not applause.
✅ What To Do Instead
As a teacher or senior student, ask:
Am I modeling curiosity or criticism?
Do I talk to students — or about them?
Do my students feel safe failing — or only safe agreeing?
As a community, commit to:
Clear feedback rooted in care
Curiosity around difference — not instant correction
Making space for people who train differently, live differently, are different
🧠 Reflection Prompt
“Where did I first learn to earn praise by distancing myself from others?”
“Have I ever confused respect for loyalty — or silence for discipline?”
“Have I ever valued belonging more than truth?”
🥋 Closing Words
Unlearn the politics of performance.
True mastery is mastering oneself.
Thank you for reading.
If this hit a little too close to home, you’re not alone. I’d love to hear your story about setting a boundary, dodging the group chat drama, or just trying to train on your own terms.
📚 Insightful Reads
I’m also sharing books that have helped me navigate all this with a little more clarity.
This week’s pick:
📘 Dojo Dilemmas: Or Karate with an Unreliable Narrator – a great & funny read on boundaries.
🙏If you choose to purchase through this link, it helps support my writing. Which keeps this space going. I appreciate it deeply.
Axé
Mera Traíra